


False Idols

by glazkovs



Category: Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six (Video Games)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, My First Work in This Fandom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-05
Updated: 2019-08-05
Packaged: 2020-07-31 14:42:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20116768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glazkovs/pseuds/glazkovs





	False Idols

It was just a habit at this point; don’t reveal anything, and lash out at those who are curious, at those who pretend to care. It was his defense mechanism, in a way. Plenty of people only feigned interest in his mental health in the past, including the ones closest to him. Eventually, he learned not to trust as easily, and to keep himself closed off.

At this point, Olivier wanted people to think he was an asshole so they wouldn't try to get close. (And to be honest, he probably really was one-) 

He used to be open, volatile. A typical rebellious kid who didn’t know what was good for him. It was hard to keep his emotions in check most days, and he would find himself overreacting to little things. This part of him had led him to his biggest mistake. His son wasn’t the mistake, no, but how he handled it was. And suddenly he found himself on the street with barely anything to his name. 

Being in the military had suffocated him more than when he was a civilian. Being thrown into intense rules as a defiant teenager had been tough, but he knew this was the one redemption he had. Eventually, the rules were what kept him going, with them he had a set goal in mind. Military life was hard, sure, but it was just a means to an end.

He’d originally been thrown for a loop when he first joined Rainbow. He had known Doc would be there beforehand, and with their past history he was prepared for the worst. Lion hadn’t expected him to be…well, tamer. He hadn’t treated him with outright hostility, as anticipated, as used to after what had marred their past. They were still terse, but he hated it, hated anyone treating him softer, even if by a small margin. He quickly remedied that though, and got Doc pissed at him all over again, over a selfish mistake.

Eventually, Olivier found himself going through the motions daily, ghosting through his responsibilities and keeping himself distant. Olivier knew it wasn’t healthy, bottling things up, and he felt annoyed when others would mention it. He knew the grave he dug, and was fully prepared to lie in it.

He supposed along the way some would pry, Finka had been the first, she probably felt like she had some special treatment being the only other CBRN operator within Rainbow. Finka was a great partner in the field, sure, but that was it. When he brushed her off, he pretended the hurt look on his face didn’t affect him.

Countless others would attempt to follow suit, random people. Blackbeard was another of the more prominent ones within recent memory. Lion speculated it was because Craig somehow made it through to Vigil, he could make it through to any other tough case. The attempt was almost laughable, and while Olivier knew he had good intentions, he wasn’t planning on having Craig be his therapist.

Smoke had been another, surprisingly. However he voiced his concern backhandedly and a little crass, which Lion actually semi-appreciated. However, the Englishman realized pretty soon he wasn’t getting far, and gave up. Lion knew he didn’t really genuinely care, that he only probably wanted fuel for base chatter. 

He supposes that with people trying, there would be someone to actually succeed. The first time he met Montagne, an odd sense of comfort washed over him, like nothing could go wrong in his presence. He found himself subconsciously drawn to him, and notably found that Montagne didn’t push or prod like the others. Montagne never treated him with kid gloves, didn’t tread cautiously around him, and seemed like he genuinely respected Olivier. Gilles would remain a comforting presence at his side, even on his worst days. 

Lion found himself slipping.

\----

It was his son’s birthday, and he noticed himself outside of Montagne’s door. It was generally a good idea for operators to know where one another lived outside of base, in case of emergency. Olivier’s mind kept screaming at him that what he was doing was wrong, that he shouldn’t be doing this, that Montagne wouldn’t care-

Guilt had been eating at him all day, and at this point, his facade was cracking. The only person who really knew of Alexis’ existence was Doc, and there was no way in hell he would go to him. Montagne just seemed like the best option. However, When Montagne opened the door, he found himself at a loss for words. It turned out that he didn’t need them yet, because Montagne silently moved aside, letting Olivier enter.

As soon as he stepped foot in Montagne’s living room, he was offered a drink, and quickly found himself sitting on the small couch with Montagne, drinking coffee, with the television only being used for background noise. They had filled the air with small talk here and there, talking about the show they were watching, or other work related things. Lion typically hated small talk, but with Gilles, it wasn’t forced, or annoying. In some odd sense it was even comforting. Midway through what they were watching, Lion noticed Montagne never asked once about the true intent for his visit.

Lion had found himself admitting it, unprompted and randomly, almost startling himself. Through a lull in the conversation he found himself simply stating, “It’s my son's birthday.” 

Silence followed his admission, and he discovered himself almost fearing Montagne’s response. He had immediately scolded himself for being childish, that he shouldn’t fear what anyone would say to him, but still, the thought buzzed around in his head.

“I had never known you had a son.” Montagne said softly, not averting his eyes from the television.

“I didn't make it known.” Olivier almost whispered. For the first time in awhile, he wanted to curl into a ball and hide away from the world. He also didn’t want to quell his emotions and move on, to pretend nothing happened. He was at a troubling crossroads, and he found himself continuing his line of thought, “I had wanted her to get rid of him. She had refused and when my parents found out, they kicked me out, I didn’t know what to do.”

“Have you seen him at all? Your son, I mean.” Lion finally felt eyes on him, and when he returned the look, he didn’t find disgust like he had prepared for, he only saw empathy. He didn’t know which of the two was worse.

“I did, when he was five. My ex - Claire, all she told me was -” Lion cut himself off, staring down at his hands in his lap, at a loss for words. Montagne seemed to notice this, and put his hand on Lion’s shoulder, slowly pulling Olivier towards him, pulling him into a tentative hug. Montagne had given him enough time to pull away, but that still didn’t mean he wasn’t taken aback by the gesture.

“Take your time, even if you don’t tell me tonight, or at all, take your time.” He felt the rumble in Gilles’ voice more than he heard it.

Lion ended up telling him everything.

\----

It became sort of normal to find himself in Montagne’s place. 

Of course it’s not like Montagne ever showed disapproval, or hostility towards him. Every time he opened his door for Olivier, he had a gentle smile on his face, and every time Lion would confess something he found himself enveloped in Montange’s arms. It was almost routine. He would let his problems flow from his mouth and fill the air around them, would shake until he was exhausted of everything. 

Montagne started to know Olivier better than Olivier knew himself. Lion wasn’t used to it, he wasn’t used to being able to talk so freely. He felt like he was taking advantage of Gilles’ kindness. When Olivier had voiced his concerns about overbearing the older man, all he got in return was a laugh, and kind eyes trained on him.

“Mon amie, I don’t think you can overburden me any more than this job does.”

That’s when Oliver realized Montagne had his own troubles he was dealing with. Of course people always had shit they were going through but Montagne always seemed like a beacon in the dark to Lion. Montagne never showed his problems, Lion was abruptly aware that he masked it differently than Oliver did. He had suddenly realized why Montagne was one of the only people to talk to him. They were more similar than he thought. 

Somewhere along the way, things became more tactile. Hugs led to lingering touches and Lion found himself smiling more, but only for Gilles. During training, Gilles would leave his typical group and start to exclusively work out with Olivier, a development that astonished not only him, but others around them as well. 

As time went on, however, Olivier noticed something was off about Montagne. His smiles seemed a little forced, and any reply to genuine questions were clipped and short. Olivier had noticed it especially when they were around others, and at some point, had noticed Montagne distancing himself.

Olivier tried not to be hurt. He sort of saw it coming, and part of him told him to never get attached in the first place. He had heard the whispers around base. How Olivier must be a bad influence on Monty, how Olivier had to be a charity case, and more... sordid rumors. Olivier understood if Montagne wanted to distance himself.

What he didn’t expect was a knock on his door when he had been alone in his home. It had been about two weeks since any private visit to Montagne’s apartment, and Olivier was starting to feel isolated. The same type of isolation he felt before he had started talking to Gilles.

When he opened the door, he was confronted with the face he had been subconsciously trying to avoid. Montagne had a look on his face that Olivier couldn't read, and that revelation distressed him. 

Before Olivier could speak, Montagne softly asked, “May I come in?”

Lion mutely nodded, and stepped aside, letting the taller man enter. 

Compared to Montagne’s place, Lion’s was less lived in and more barren. He managed to have a few picture frames scattered about here and there, and the most necessary furniture. Otherwise, Olivier’s apartment wasn’t really cozy or inviting.

When Montagne made it past Olivier, he turned to him. Expecting the worst, but not wanting to back down, Lion met Gilles’ stare head on. 

“Do you know what they’re saying about you?” Montagne started.

“They say many things about me.” Lion said dismissively

Gilles sighed, and was the first one to lose the impromptu staring contest as he looked to the side, mindlessly picking at the sleeves of his jacket. Lion hadn't seen him like this before, normally Gilles was calm and confident. He continued, “But you know what I mean right now, don’t you?”

There was an unreadable expression on Gilles’ face again.

“I just didn’t want it to affect anything.” 

Lion scoffed, “What is there to affect?”

Gilles finally, finally looked back up, a new look in his eye. Frustration, maybe? “Olivier. I know you’re not that dense.”

“Well. What if I am? Or, what if I want to hear you actually say it?” There was a challenging tone in his voice.

Gilles’ sighed and ran a hand through his hair, visibly exasperated, “I didn’t want it to scare you off. I didn’t-” Gilles stopped and made a vague hand gesture. “I didn’t really think this through.”

Olivier huffed and walked past Gilles, into his living room. When he sat on his couch, he merely gestured for Gilles to join him. When the couch sank from Gilles’ weight, Olivier let out the breath he was keeping in. 

Neither of them knew where to go from here, something fragile had already been broken. Neither wanted to make it worse, but didn’t know how to make it better.

Olivier opted to not use words, and just let himself rest his head on Gilles’ shoulder. Immediately, the other man tensed, but eventually let himself relax and lean into the touch. When Olivier reached for his hand, Gilles let him take it and wove his fingers with Olivier’s.

“I guess it’s best to not over-complicate it with words, then.” Olivier mumbled, and when Gilles laughed, he knew everything would be fine.


End file.
